Category Archives: Blog
“If you want to see what your friends and family think of you, die broke, and see who comes to your funeral…” -Gregory Nunn
As the ten-day vacation of the beach and Jamboree in the Hills came to an end, so did Captain Pauly’s Summer, 2011 edition. It was exactly what I expected, same great times…different year. I spent an enjoyable 15 hours (7.5 each way) in the car with my Uncle, where we talked about life and compared his times to mine. If you ever get the chance, please grab a family member that isn’t afraid to tell you truthfully about the “way it was back then” and just listen, let them talk…it’s awesome. I expanded my relationship with my cousins, thanks in large part to my life sponsor, Miller Lite (& the weekly sponsor, Flaming Dr. Peppers). You know, just some good old fashion family bonding…it truly was refreshing. At the end of it all…that’s all you really have, Family. I got my 
yearly life-changing relaxation on the coast, and revamped the batteries for the year. There’s very few things better than being able to not worry about a thing and let your thoughts come and go with the tide. I scratched my Bay Seasoning and Blue Crab itch, because that’s kinda what Maryland does. I made my way to the second greatest bar I’ve ever been to, Seacrets (let’s be real, nothing will ever beat what me and my hooligan friends turned Bubba’s Bison Inn into…well, what it USE to be with the beat the clocks and happy hours.)
(Side Note: Over time, I have developed this highly unusual problem, if you want to call it that. Whenever I go to a bar outside of the greater Morgantown area, I get intoxicated and continually yell at the band to play Country Roads. I mean to the point where everyone else at the bar is either leaving or trying to get me to shut the hell up. Eventually a magical thing happens, simultaneously the band realizing what I am saying and them wanting to keep people to stay…they play country roads to at 
least shut me up. That’s where my problems arise. I usually climb on stage and slur through “Cunthree roads, take me hoom to the plase I belong, Wessssss Virthinia…” I have nearly covered the southeast coast, top places to see it: The Stage in Nashville, TN. Mad River Bar in Charleston, SC. Seacrets in Ocean City, MD. Sine’s Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Some random bar in Fort Lauderdale, FL. With additional angry places in between. John Denver rolls over each time. For some reason that I can’t seem to fathom in my sober mind…my drunken instinct thinks it’s a mind-blowing idea to give someone in the band the WVU hat off my head. It was Uproot Hootenanny’s fiddle player at Kahunas Bar in Deerfield Beach, FL and the guitar player for Joe Bachman and the Crew, at Seacrets this year. I even managed the pictures, how about that. With all that being said, I want to apologize to my fellow Mountaineers…for pridefully contributing to the Hillbilly stereotype…)
Since I try to maintain this as a somewhat of a clean place on the internet, I’m not going to go into great detail about my experience at Jambo 2011, but I promise, it didn’t disappoint. Predictions were made and in some cases, turned into facts. I laughed at old times with former buddies, and made some current, laughable adventures with new friends. As you get older, its times like this, that force you to take a step back and give it a good hard look. It’s gatherings like Jambo, that helps you separate and realize who your life-long friends will be versus who would kick you in the nuts and give you a swirly in the port-a-john at the peak hour of 
dirtiness…if you even have to question, then guess what side Karma has put you on (sorry, that’s just my old age and gray hairs talking). I woke up each morning, and I was more than thankful for that. I also woke up to those damn port-a-johns blazing an unimaginable smell, girls taking the lowest of low walk of shames, Belancic yelling to go do the Redneck Run, and that beautiful sun rising for yet another day of greatness. My imaginary female friend, Amanda, was usually roaming around somewhere too.
As the morning turned to afternoon and eventually into evening/night, that’s when a good day turns into a great day. It’s that swirling combination of everything that is going on around you. It’s watching Mike Wells be, well… Mike Wells. It’s playing an infinite number of games of Beer Ball, for the simple fact that we have beer, a table, balls and time. It’s witnessing Belancic take on half of section Green B in arm wrestling competitions, where he proceeded to celebrate his W like he just won the WWF championship belt from Hulk Hogan. It’s where attractive girls became unattractive with their drunkenness, and unattractive girls became attractive with my drunkenness. It’s observing professional, mid to upper 20 year olds get fired up and pissed over a competition for Most Valuable Drinker. (We voted a winner on Saturday night, but people got pissed off…so I’ll just say we were all Most Valuable Drinkers.) It’s watching friends relentlessly bash each other, and being able to laugh it off…because that’s what good buds do at Jambo. It’s having a disturbing obsession with Luke Bryan and then watching him kill it on stage from like 8 rows back (hands down the best performer I saw there). Listen to his songs: Shore Thing, If You Ain’t Here to Party, Rain is a Good Thing, Wild Weekend, and I’m Hungover. Also Check 
out this video of him roaming around the Campgrounds. Listen to ‘em? Now tell me, that he and I shouldn’t be best friends. I’m just saying. It’s having the time of your life with a bunch assholes you wouldn’t trade for anyone. It’s being harassed by 70 year olds, sunburned, sweaty, smelly, hungry, drunk, lost, and tired…and still not having a complaint in the world. It’s wondering how in the hell you do this every year. It’s waking up Sunday, counting down the days until next year. It’s Jamboree in the Hills, and there’s truly nothing like it…at least not for me and my friends.
Final Thought: I figured I’d start a new thing, where I can just bitch and moan, praise myself for being awesome, or just release some bullshit that’s eating away at me. Anyways, my final thought this time is dedicated to one of the inspirations that keeps me writing: Zac Jackson, a current writer for Fox Sports Ohio, brother to one of the biggest egos Bethany College has ever seen, Brody, and son to the unofficial, white, nonathletic Mr. October. Way back when, Brody showed me this blog where his brother wrote his college memoirs (Link: THE COLLEGE MEMOIRS). To this day, 5-6 years later, I still go to it when I need motivation to write. It’s goooood stuff and definitely worth a read if you have the time. For the record, I have shown my high school basketball highlight tapes to not only my friends, but girls in college…pathetic, I know (read the memoirs and you’ll understand why I said that).
Your Favorite Drinking Buddy,
Pauly
“Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy.” – Dierks Bentley
Music. It’s powerful and persuasive. It’s mood controlling and emotion bursting. It can make a low, lower or make a high, higher. It being live has known to change lives. It can turn a frown upside down and cause you to smile for a while. It’s an international language. It can motivate the mind and relax the soul. It gives you a reason…to drink, to be lazy, to watch the clouds float past, to run that extra mile, to think you can sing well in the shower or while driving. With such wide range of forms and genres, there’s something that EVERYONE can appreciate. For me, I tend to enjoy all kinds of music…at different points, as most of you will agree with me. Maybe some rap and hip-hop at the gym. Easy rock and alternative when I’m relaxing or just lying low. Some reggae when laying on the beach.
Then, there’s country music. There’s few things in life that go better together than summer drinking and country music. Make it mid-July when the beer turns to water, and the country music live in the hills of the Ohio Valley…and it’s a hillbilly’s heaven. Of course, I’m talking about Jamboree in the Hills…but you already knew that. If you don’t know what I’m referring to…google it or take a quick look at some videos on YouTube (there’s a reason for the stereotype we deal with). The Live Nation event usually has some good down home country music that refers to what the Ohio Valley is made up of: beer-drinking, looking for a good time, hard-working, honest people. That’s why on my iPod, I have a genre known as “Jambo,” because it truly is a certain type of music. To be preparing the regular-attendees and better explain to the rest, I have formed a top 25 songs you can expect to hear rolling through the hills this year. Appreciate and get excited…because their tour buses will be pulling up before we know it. If you can’t make it this year, take this play list and have yourself a Jambo Saturday. (Side Note: I apologize for the amount of Luke Bryan songs, but he is Jambo music…and I excessively adore him. Also, those are all YouTube links to the song.)
25. Luke Bryan – It’s A Shore Thing
24. Toby Keith – I Love This Bar
23. Eric Church – Love Your Love the Most
22. Luke Bryan – Rain is a Good Thing
21. Montgomery Gentry – Something to be Proud Of
20. Rodney Atkins – Take a Back Road
19. Davisson Brothers Band – Big City Hillbilly
18. Miranda Lambert – Gunpowder and Lead
17. Toby Keith – I Should’ve Been a Cowboy
16. Craig Campbell – Family Man
14. Luke Bryan – All My Friends Say
13. Montgomery Gentry – My Town
12. Eric Church – Sinners Like Me
11. Neal McCoy – Billy’s Got His Beer Googles On
10. Miranda Lambert – Kerosene
9. Tim McGraw – Live Like You Were Dying
8. Justin Moore – Small Town U.S.A.
7. Josh Thompson – Way Out Here
6. Toby Keith – As Good as I once was
5. Joe Zelek – Jamboree in the Hills
3. Rodney Atkins – These are my People
1. Luke Bryan – If You Ain’t Here to Party
(Encore 1: Luke Bryan & Tim McGraw – Back When)
(Encore 2: Luke Bryan – Drunk On You)
(Encore 3: Toby Keith, His Encore for the troops)
Hope this gets you guys fired up, I know it got me going…
Your Favorite Drinking Buddy,
Pauly
“I act like I did back when I was a kid, but it hurts more than it did back then. I go out on the town and make a fool of myself, I run around with the same rowdy friends. I get drunk and obnoxious and wake up the next day swearing I’m never drinking again…My grandma still tells me, enough is enough life ain’t a game son, its time to grow up…” – Corey Smith “Maybe Next Year”
When West Virginia University e-mailed me and informed me that I will be tackling an additional semester, I was pretty fired up…believe it or not, I’m over the whole college lifestyle (although I do expect to go out like Van Wilder). I realize the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but at least I’ll have money to pay someone to make it greener.
Eventually, everyone got sick of me bitching/moaning about it and I accepted the fact that its out of my control. At that moment in my life, I had a George Costanza moment. (yes, I still hate Seinfeld) I decided to count my blessings, appreciate life, and declare it “The Summer of Pauly,” similar to the way George did. While the Yankees aren’t giving me three months of paid time off, I still decided to make the most of my situation. Due to those god damn financial handcuffs, I will not be going on a tour of the Caribbean or going on a coastal tour of the south…but instead I will be exploring everything that West-by-god-Virginia and the surrounding area has to offer. I am officially the Captain of my summer ship… sailing to a good time near you.
Corey Smith, Kenny Chesney/Zac Brown Band Concerts (June 3-5) – See the previous post to see how my journey to Richmond, VA and Washington D.C. Went. It was a good time.
Pirates/Red Sox Game and The Clarks (June 24-26) – The Clarks are playing at Generations Bar in Wheeling on Friday evening. I have been a fan of them for a while now, and have yet to be disappointed in their live show (or my live show at their concerts). The buccos test the waters when Boston comes to town for a showdown at PNC Park. Grew up cheering on the pirates and I look forward to experiencing a sold-out game.
Kenny Chesney/Zac Brown Band concert and 4th of July festivities (J uly 1-4) – If you 
haven’t noticed, I appreciate a good time. Kenny Chesney knows exactly how to touch u pon that fun nerve, regardless of whether it’s the tailgate or the concert. So I will be heading up to Heinz Field for my third Kenny concert in 4 months. I will also eat a hot dog and catch something on fire that’s not a firecracker or something in honor of the fo urth.
Ocean City, MD Beach Vacation (July 8-13) – For the 36th (or somewhere in that range) straight year, the family will migrate 
to Ocean City for t he annual family vacation. Should be a good time with stops at some of the local watering holes, such as Seacrets, The Green Turtle, Big Pecker’s, Macky’s, etc. Where family legends are born or broke…my family certainly doesn’t allow mistakes to disappear, ie my performance at Kathleen’s wedding in Cincinnati…I was young, let it gooooo.
Jamboree in the Hills (July 14-18) – Heading into my fifth consecutive year of attending Jambo, I have a lot of stories and memories that I love to tell about an
d tons to forget about. With Luke Bryan and Eric Church in the lineup this year, the tradition should carry on. If you’ve never been to Jambo, you NEED to go…If you’ve gone before, I’ll see you soon. A true display of alcoholism, mistakes, hillbillies, and 70 year olds proving age is only a number. CAN’T WAIT! …yes, it’s a live nation event.
Also, I am continuing my campaign to bring back the High-Five…so feel free to participate.
Your Favorite Drinking Buddy,
Pauly
“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!” – Bob Marley
As long as I can remember, I’ve been a big fan of road trips. Flying is for those who don’t appreciate life. Put it this way, I’ve taken a car and a cruise ship to Florida (out of Baltimore) before I flew there this past spring. It’s as though there is a unwritten rule that if your going to drive that far and dedicate that much time to traveling, then your going to put your morals, character and dignity on the line for a good time/good story. (Feel free to take a second and laugh at your road trip stories now) For me, the examples are like a
lcohol at a bar…endless. There was that New Years in Nashville when I sang Country Roads at the Stage (no one ever appreciates my rendition of John Denver). A New Years in Canada. That Spring Break drive to Panama City with a car full of knuckleheads without a care in the world. The trip in the big white turd to Jacksonville to see the Mountaineers in the Gator Bowl. Even that trip to Myrtle Beach for Senior Week in high school. I’ll refrain from discussing any of the misfortunes that occurred, but I have a feeling a friend or two of mine would be more than happy to talk about them. Then, there’s family trips. For the past 25 years of my life, my family has been road-tripping it to Ocean City, MD to meet at that shoreline…and I have a feeling that a lot of the best family stories started there. Perhaps, a few cousins as well. Still one of our best family traditions. Hell, when I lived in Charleston, SC, I drove back to West Virginia 4 or 5 times, most of the time by myself. It’s just you, the road, a few angry drivers, and Kenny Chesney on the radio. There’s no better time to think about what direction your life is headed, reevaluating your life’s past, or cherishing what your life has now.
Kenny Chesney was heading to FedEx Field, in D.C., on June 4th. Corey Smith decided to play a show on Browns Island in Richmond, VA on June 3rd. Two of my top 5 favorite artists (of all time) were playing back-to-back days with a two or three hour drive between the destinations. One thing came to mind, Drunken Road-trip. After Fleegs invited me to the 
show at FedEx field, I immediately called the only kid I know who would scream YES to any sentence with the words “Miller Lite” or “Kenny Chesney” in it. Brody. Without hesitation, he decided that this is one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. I, obviously, agreed without any argument. You can’t threaten me with a good time. I’m not going to bore you with the fantastic time I had. Believe me, it was nearly as good as I expected. Corey, Kenny, and Zac Brown sang. Girls were chased. Country Roads was requested. Miller Lites were drank. Even more Miller Lites were drank (etc, etc). Food was grilled. Friends were made. Grass skirt (singular) was worn. Beer ball was played. A couch was soiled. A good time was had by all.
During the whole trip, I took on 20+ hours of driving (see map). I was in the car for nearly a 1,000 miles. I officially hate I-95, and wouldn’t be made if someone destroyed it. I ate entirely too much gas station food, including Sheetz, WaWa, and some nasty food from the gas station by the Outlets in Hagerstown, MD. I got roughly 12 hours of sleep in three days. I got to pay $9.00 for a 16 ounce beer at Fedex Field …Yet, I had the time of my life. I got to drink Miller Lites without a worry in the world. I got to meet up with old friends to make new memories. I got to meet new friends, which I told of our old memories. I explored foreign ground and got to see shit that I never thought existed. I got to see Corey Smith, Kenny Chesney, Zac Brown Band, a little of Billy Currington, and a drunk Uncle Kracker perform. I got to appreciate life for what it was worth.
Yet, during my six hour drive 
home, I got to thinking about life. At 25 years old, a half head of gray hairs, overweight, single, WVU trying to keep me in college forever, and looking at the glass half empty… I’m living a road trip. Wait, let me rephrase that…I’m 25 years young, with a half head of brown hair, a food connoisseur, exploring that ocean of females, living the college dream while I keep my beers half full at all times… I’m living a road trip without a destination in sight. And I think I’m okay with that.
Your Favorite Drinking Buddy,
Captain Pauly
“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” – President John F. Kennedy
It’s been a while, I know. The combination of my future, a stressful life and education courses got in the way, and I apologize for my selfish ways… but I have returned, thanks in part to reality, WVU forcing me into an additional semester, an d an abundance of free time. Assholes.
I don’t expect you to read my blog on a regular basis and for those of you that do… I don’t expect you to like it. Yet, I do expect you all to lie to me, regardless. I chose to revamp my writing blunders again for no other reason than my own self-enjoyment. Bill Simmons’ new blog site, Grantland, also influenced my return. If you haven’t read the sports/pop culture blog…leave this dump, and check it out. After talking with a friend about starting a similar blog, the most appealing and attention-grabbing name we came up with was “Fleegle.” (It could still happen, Zac…) Anyways, with no one taking Fleegle serious, I chose to continue on the path of getting my Masters in Elementary Education and being a self-proclaimed professional writer. Enjoy.
Your Favorite Drinking Buddy,
Pauly
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